I was super psyched today. “Why?” you may be finding yourself asking. Well, since this is my birth month and in particular my birth week, I got a fat “free” $10 to spend at Kohl’s in addition to hitting the Kohl’s JACKPOT by pulling off a 30% coupon from my circular.
I decided “hey, I’ll attempt to purchase a new, cute, sexy outfit that I can wear out for my actual birthday celebration”. That thought, in itself, was a complete fail.
A few things you must know about me:
1. I am shaped like a 12 year old boy. I have no hips. I have no butt. I am like a stick figure with pigtails.
2. My shoulders have the mobility of a 70 year old with impingement. They should never consider joining the circus, because they would probably get stuck hanging out with the elephants.
3. I still shop in the junior’s department, because quite frankly women’s clothes still don’t fit my lack of shapeliness. An XS is too big on me. I should be in petites but my beastly height prevents that. I also shop in junior’s because I appreciate a good vibrant pink, sparkle, glitter, or skinny jean here and there. And I am also afraid that the women’s department means I am officially old and not as young as I think I am.
With that being said, I tried on several cute tops. Size: Small. Sadly, Eli came unprepared and did not have her camera. To capture the sheer horror.
This was the top I attempted to try on. Cute right?
Anyways, I successfully navigated the top and got it on me. I was only like: “Meh”. So I started trying to take it off. AND I COULDN’T. The top was stuck. Due to my lack of shoulder mobility I was struggling. I was sweating. And I was panicking.
No one wants to buy a shirt that they have somehow managed to do this to and then proceed to have to walk out the store looking like this
So instead I settled for the most stretchy of shirts I could find made of only the finest materials of spandex and rayon.
Thus making me realize, the main reason I enjoy using my running clothes as also my casual clothes, is comfort. you mean it’s not ok to wear a wicking shirt while enjoying a casual night of Wii with your brother and sister-in-law?
CRAP. I just realized I’m headed for “What Not to Wear”. Now I’m off to find the hidden camera.